Planning your dream wedding is fun and exciting, but let’s be real — it can also be an eye-opener. Many brides and grooms end up asking, “how will we pay for a wedding that we love?” One way to lessen the sticker shock is to try negotiating with your wedding vendors. While not everything can be negotiated, there are some items that can be. Remember, it doesn’t hurt to try, and how you approach the conversation can make a difference.

We see brides fall into three general negotiating styles with their wedding vendors. Kind of like Goldilocks with her porridge, there’s a too hot, too cold and just right style. We’ve broken them down for you here, and highlighted the one we think works best:

Too hot — coming on strong

“Give me what I’m asking for, or I’ll go elsewhere.”

This is a risky way to go about getting a deal. If you’re going for a power position with potential wedding vendors by giving ultimatums, be aware of a few things:

• Be prepared for your bluff to be called if they say “no,” and then be willing to walk away from the vendor as you’ve threatened you would.
• Even if the vendor ends up agreeing to your requests, realize that being too demanding can negatively impact your working relationship. Especially for your wedding day, you want positive energy and good will from everyone involved in bringing it all together. 

Too cold — being passive and sweet

“You can catch more flies with honey. I’ll just be nice.”

There’s nothing wrong with being kind and appreciative when dealing with wedding vendors, but don’t be a pushover. If you come across as too accepting, the vendor doesn’t have to work to earn your business, and you may not get what you want in terms of service and cost. You can stand up for yourself and seek a fair deal while still being sweet.

Just right — the win/win approach

“Let’s work together to benefit us both.”

Fair, firm and friendly is the way to go when dealing with someone you want to do business with. It doesn’t pay to approach your wedding negotiations with a winner take all mentality.

Talk to your wedding vendor about your budget and the service you’re hoping they can provide. Ask questions. Be realistic and fair. If you haven’t gotten any other vendor to agree to a similar low price, then don’t bluff just to see what a vendor might agree to. If your chosen vendor can’t work within the budget you’ve laid out and they’ve satisfactorily explained why, find out what it is that they can do for the amount you’re willing to spend. Can they suggest another type of flower? What’s a more budget friendly dining option? What are the least expensive times of day and days of the week to hold your reception? Be curious and flexible. On the other hand, if you have gotten lower estimates or better services offered, let the vendor know.

It also might be helpful to share how you love to talk about great service when you receive it. Let them know how many friends and colleagues you have who will also soon be planning a wedding. Offer to write up an online review after your big day.

No matter what your negotiation style is, keep these basics in mind: 1) do your homework, 2) be flexible, and 3) use a blend of fair and friendly to help ferret out any “wiggle room” in price and service. But don’t just take our word for it. See what bridalguide.com has to say on how to negotiate on wedding costs. And then, read more on how to handle money matters with wedding vendors at theknot.com.

If you’ve done what you can with negotiating wedding costs and you still find yourself with a gap between budget and price tag, check out how a LendingPoint loan can help with your plans. We’ll quickly tell you how much you qualify for, and you can choose the loan option that suits you best. Applying is simple and easy. Your dream wedding loan could be deposited in your account in as little as one business day. Try it and see!